Video #2: A Moment and a Message
As we head into fall application season we wanted you to have some additional resources for making the impact you want through your written voice. Because the essay can be such a barrier for so many of us, we have created a series of videos so that you can write your scholarship or college application essay with confidence.
I’m Tricia Hester, scuba diver, English teacher, and FuturesNW volunteer. In this video we will be talking about the two most important components of a personal statement: A moment and a message.
We know everyone has a story to tell. That story might be buried beneath the seemingly mundane, but it’s there. Bright, engaging and important. This is the story that the people in charge of admissions and scholarships want to hear.
Transcript of video:
In this video you will learn about the difference between a moment and a message, how they are related, and why each is important. Let’s get started.
First, remember Myth #1 from “About the Personal Statement”. Your personal statement does not need to feature an epic event. However, it does need to feature a specific, vivid moment. Let’s take a look at an example that demonstrates both the power of the everyday and a focus on a specific moment.
This example comes from a successful application to Yale. This student was admitted to Yale, and she wrote about ordering Papa John’s pizza in her application. The first few sentences describe in colorful detail the moment that a pizza is delivered. This moment serves several purposes. First and foremost, it captures the reader’s attention, allows them to experience the moment as the author does. Second, it demonstrates the author’s command of language with descriptive details and analogies that are not cliché. And third, it demonstrates the author’s command of focus. She does not try to capture everything about ordering Papa John’s pizza; she focuses on the doorbell that signals its arrival.
However, in and of itself this moment does not make a successful personal statement. It requires a message, or a theme, that explains its greater importance. The pizza is important because it symbolizes celebration, comfort, and self-sufficiency. Without this message, the moment is not as meaningful even with its beautifully crafted descriptions.
Further, the message is not as impactful without the moment. Had the author jumped right into the message – that ordering Papa John’s pizza “evokes feelings of independence, consolation, and joy” – it would have been difficult for the audience to empathize with that message. The author first puts the audience in her shoes – drooling at the sound of the doorbell – and then reveals deeper meaning, the significance of the simple act of ordering pizza.
Both the moment and the message are vital. Together they create the heartbeat that gives your personal statement life. In my video about idea generation, I’ll discuss strategies for coming up with moments and messages that are related and how to narrow your focus to make space for detail. You can also view A Moment and a Message Part 2 for additional examples of impactful personal statements.